Something you’re proud of in the past few days – Day 9 of my 30 Day Blog Challenge

Hmmm…  I’m proud of how “okay” I am with my life right now.  I know that probably doesn’t sound like much to you, but for me it’s a pretty big deal.  For almost 2 years there wasn’t much in my life that I was proud of, except the kid.  In 2009 I found myself turning 30 and I was completely lost. 

I’ve been told many times how being in your 30’s is awesome because you really start to “feel comfortable in your own skin”.  Well when I turned 30 I was anything but that.  I was stuck in a house that was too small and was no in an area that had declined drastically in the past 5 years.  We still owed $90,000 on it, but we’d be lucky to sell it for $25,000.  This was not where the hubby and I wanted to be raising our daughter.  Then in December of 2008 I was completely taken aback when I was laid off from a company I had worked for, for almost 8 years.  I found myself jobless right before Christmas, in Michigan, where the economy was doing worse than almost every state in the US.  Needless to say I was completely devastated.  I had only been a Quality Assurance Analyst, in the IT department, for 1 1/2 years; not exactly the amount of experience that was going to make it easy to land myself a new job.  Over the next 3 months I went out on 3 interviews and was told each time that they loved me, but I was their 2nd choice due to lack of experience. 😦  It’s not easy to hear that you came thisclose to getting a new job, only to find out that someone a bit better than you got the job.  So in desperation, I tucked my tail between my legs, and called a friend of mine that still worked at the company I was laid off from.  I knew her department hired temps right around that time of year and I knew it was the best chance to get back into the workforce.  At this point I was already climbing into the deep hole that was depression, so what did it matter?  Lucky for me my friends boss new my previous administrative work, with the company, and was thrilled to have me aboard as a temp.  So there I was, heading back to a job that was essentially the same as the very 1st job I had with the company 8 years ago.  The things you do for your, family right?  Going back to that company and taking so many steps back professionally was probably in the top 10 of “the hardest things I’ve ever done”.

A few months at the company and I’m not getting any interviews for IT related positions, so I decide to apply for an Account Management position.  I had never done Account Management, but I had done some very similar things, plus I had previously worked with that team for over 2 years.  I knew I could do the position and that I could do it extremely well.  Unfortunately, I was never given the chance.  The woman who was interviewing for the position decided she didn’t want to interview me.  I found this strange since I approached her about her thoughts on me applying in the first place.  Too bad she couldn’t have been honest with me right from the start.  So with this I climb even deeper into that hole of depression.

Another 2 months pass and a position that I held previously AND had helped to create became open.  Well to me this was a no brainer!  The sales team that I was supporting spoke highly of me and we had a great rapor together.  Not to mention I had helped to CREATE the position in the first place.  They were still doing things in the position that I helped to think up and implement.  How could I not get this position?!?  Enter the same woman who wouldn’t let me apply for the Account Management position…she was also the manager for this position.  Lucky me.  It still dumbfounds me to this day how I didn’t get the position.  You’re probably thinking “Wow, she’s pretty conceited.” and you’d be right.  It’s just that I had people pulling me aside after the decision was made (bosses, peers, a VP and even a Director) telling me how shocked they were that I didn’t get the job.  Nobody could seem to understand it and I didn’t either.  At this point I’m not even sure I could climb any deeper into my deeper into depression and I felt as if every last shred of dignity had been stripped from me.  If I wasn’t even good enough for a job I had created, then how in the world was I going to find something else?!?

Then one day in October a good friend of mine jokingly sent me a link to a job description for a temporary Quality Assurance Analyst position, in Ann Arbor, Michigan.  This was a hour from where I lived, so he thought there was no way I’d apply to it.  I looked at it though, and the job description fit me perfectly.  They were even looking for someone with 1 -2 years experience…so on a whim I applied to it.  It wasn’t long before I got a call back from the recruiter.  From here I went through a few rounds of phone interviews and found out I had the job.  It was working for a company that creates software for ultrasound machines.  I’d be doing the testing on this software to make sure there was no bugs.  The job was temporary, 2,000 hours, which equates to about a year.  I jumped at the chance to get back into IT…yes it was a hour drive, with no traffic, but it was going to give me an extra year of experience.  Plus the company was a well known name, which would look good on the resume.  A tiny bit of the depression I had been feeling lifted.

I worked my butt off over the next year, learning as much as I could so I could beef up my resume.  About 6 months into the position I decided I better start posting my resume and looking for a new job, because in Michigan it took at least 6 months to find work…if you were lucky.  To my shock recruiters started calling me.  Yes, ME!  The same person who called recruiters the first time around and was brushed off by every single one due to my lack of experience.  At one point a company actually offered me the same position 3 times in the space of 4 months and I turned them down each time.  There was just a few things that were “off” about the company and position.  I knew it wasn’t the right place for me and I’ve found out things since then that proved I was right.  Well once again October rolled around and I was interviewing with two companies.  One was a temporary position that was going to likely turn permanent, for a company that was literally across the street from the place I was currently working at.  The other was for a company in Detroit, which was MUCH closer to home.  I got both jobs…imagine that, 2 companies that wanted me!  What a difference a year of experience makes.  I ended up taking the permanent job with the company in Detroit because it was closer to home.  I’m glad I did too, because I’m now working for a company that is doing great economically, which is very rare in Michigan right now.  Again, some more of the depression lifted.

Enter the year 2011…I’m going to say that this has been one of the best years of my life.  My daughter is still the light of my life and is more inspiring than ever. I’m getting recognized at my job for all the hard work I put in. Our carpet cleaning business is growing each year and is doing wonderfully!  We have also moved into a new, much bigger, home, in a much better area.  When there was a shooting at the end of our street last August, I took one look at my hubby and said “I don’t care what we have to do…we can’t live here anymore.”  He agreed with me.  So now we have this beautiful home that is in need of many updates.  LOL  Despite that we love it!  It has a sauna in the finished basement and an inground pool with stone waterfall in the backyard.  Not to mention 2.5 baths (no more having to wait for someone to finish in the bathroom…yay!) and 2 fireplaces.  I am in heaven!  LOL  *peeks head out of her hole of depression*

On top of all of those things, I just feel more at peace with life.  It’s not perfect, there are still many things I want to change, but I know it’s taken a HUGE turn for the better and that I’m finally on the right track.  I actually don’t dread turning a year older this year.  I haven’t felt this way since I was in my early 20’s!  I think that I partly have blogging to thank for this.  I’ve found that writing and getting my thoughts out, no matter how silly the subject or how serious, it makes me feel better.  I love to write.  I never even realized how much until recently.  This is probably obvious to you, though, cuz I’ve babbled so far off from the actual subject of this post.  So if you’re still with me…thanks for sticking around and reading all this!  It’s something I’ve been needing to get out for awhile now. 🙂  So I guess I’m also proud of myself for having the strength to write this post and share it with all of you!

Please forgive any typos I may have…this was an extremely tough post to write and I’m not up to proofreading it.  LOL

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~ by lisa pollard on June 14, 2011.

4 Responses to “Something you’re proud of in the past few days – Day 9 of my 30 Day Blog Challenge”

  1. Lisa, I know *just* how you feel. I’m so glad things are looking up!!

    • Jackie,

      I know you do! *hugs* Keep your chin up, things will start to look up for you too! I’m starting to learn everything happens for a reason, it’s just that sometimes the reason takes a REALLY, REALLY long time to show itself! LOL

      Lisa

  2. It sounds cliche, but I really do think that the trials and tribulations of life help us appreciate the good times more. At least that’s what I tell myself! I found you through VoiceBoks and am now a follower!
    Yankee Texan Mom

    • Cliche’s are often cliches because they are true, right? As they say “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. I firmly believe that! Thanks for following! 🙂

      Lisa

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